May
1

She Got Fat

She Got Fat

Diana,

I’m going to sound like a bad guy but I broke up with my girlfriend because she got fat. She gained 40 pounds. I love her but I can’t be with her intimately when she looks like that. I didn’t tell her that was the reason. I feel bad.

Jake
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May
5

Dating Type: Military Man

Dating Type: Military Man

Diana,

Well, I was dumped by a Marine a while back, but now I am ready to get back in the dating game, but I really like dating guys from the military. The devotion is nice, and if I find the right one, the loyalty would be too. But I also want to send letters and see if it can grow from there, I just want to send “snail mail” at the moment, I usually only get junk mail in my email so it usually all gets deleted.

Jessica
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May
20

Is My Wife Cheating?

Is My Wife Cheating?

I am currently deployed and I think I am starting to get paranoid. My wife has had a co-worker that recently went through a divorce over to our home a couple of times, most recently Mother’s Day. The first time it was just a play date with his son and mine, but he has come over other times to spend time with my son. I began to worry about being “replaced” as dad to my 7 month old son.

I told the wife I was worrying about something but did not want to talk about it over Facebook. She instantly went defensive and assumed I was worried about her cheating on me. I never was worried about that to begin with, but now after her getting defensive I began to think about a lot of things that she has started to do and done differently since I left.

For example, and this may be my paranoia, but each time he comes to visit I get a really long note on Facebook expressing her love for me and how she could never cheat on me. But I only get those after he visits. There are other things but like I said I just don’t know. I hope I am only being paranoid, and I know I should probably talk to her about it but how do you even start a conversation like that? Please any help to ease my mind and heart would be the greatest.

Thanks,
Jason

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May
May
4

He’s Choosing Basic Training Over Me

He’s Choosing Basic Training Over Me

Dear Diana,

My boyfriend is 20 years old and I am 19. We have been on and off for two years, mostly on. I found out that he enlisted in the Army about six months ago so I had time to come to terms with him leaving. After much thought, I decided that I wanted to stay with him because you support the people you love, especially the people you are IN love with. I could not just leave him when he had done nothing wrong.

Four weeks before he was to leave for basic training, we decided to go on a “break” because I would always give him a hard time whenever he went out with his friends; I was jealous and he couldn’t deal with it anymore. Our “break” turned into a break up when I hadn’t heard from him two weeks later. I ended up calling him to ask him where we stood and he sounded distressed and upset. He said that “he needed space.” He asked me to “leave him alone right now” and that “he needed to do his basic training on his own.” Although I understand the amount of stress he is under, I don’t understand why he had to push me away when I have been his support system for these past two years. I feel like I mean nothing to him.

To make matters worse, he is hanging out with one of his female friends more than usual. I know for a fact that they have not done anything sexual but they do hangout quite a bit and he says that she has been his “support” since we broke up. That was hard for me to hear. He says that they are “best friends” but I know that he texted her a lot before he left and I am so scared that he will replace me with her. I’m not sure if he is putting her in the forefront so he simply has someone to talk to or if he is developing feelings for her.

Unfortunately, we didn’t leave off on a great note but it wasn’t horrible. There was a little bit too much built up anger towards one another and we couldn’t sort it all out within those four weeks. I know he loves me and even at 19 years old, call me crazy, but I know we are meant to be together. He has a sweet heart and he treats me like a princess when we are together. I really couldn’t ask for anything better. But sometimes I wonder if it is normal for guys to act like this. Does he think I will always be here? Is he testing our relationship? I’m so confused! If you could please give me some advice on my whole situation you would help me a lot! What do you think I should do?

Thank you,
Rebecca

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May
1

I Left My Cancer Striken Partner

I Left My Cancer Striken Partner

Hi Diana,

I just want to know how to tell my ex that after her battle with cancer, I could not look at her any more because it was too painful to feel like I let her down by getting breast cancer. I could no longer look at her naked or make love to her because I felt I was hurting her. I was mad at her because somehow I did blame her for not getting to it sooner; I felt she ignored the symptoms by working and cleaning the house and refusing to be helped. I am still friends with her, although I started another family. I later asked her for her forgiveness, but I cannot forgive myself, I am still telling her to take care of herself, but I feel she just does not do enough. She is one of the best persons I had ever met in my life. She is almost a saint to me, if I could only take her pain away, I just don’t know how; I cannot change what I did.

Joe
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May
4

Facebook Status Update: He’s In a Relationship

Facebook Status Update: He’s In a Relationship

Dear Diana,

My boyfriend and I dated off again on again while in high school, and afterwards while I was in college. When he joined the Air Force we had a mutual parting before he left for basic. I didn’t want to put pressure on him to not find someone else while he was at basic and so far away from me. When he came home for Exodus we reconnected, and it turns out he missed me as much as I missed him. We started dating again, and we have tried to stay in touch as much as possible.

I love him, and have never strayed, but lately I get the feeling that he might be. I was willing to ignore things like no phone call on Valentines Day, or not answering my texts for days. I understand that he is under a lot of pressure and I am okay with that. But he recently changed his relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” — with another woman. Usually, I would think that it is a joke and no big deal, but with everything else kind of adding up I feel as though I am being had.

I don’t want him to feel like I don’t trust him, but if he wants to be with another woman I want him to tell me. I would rather break up (and get back together if the Fates bring us back together) than have him cheat on me. What should I do?

Nicole
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May
20

All Women Cheat

All Women Cheat

Diana,

I’m in the Air Force. In the last three years, I have tried to meet a nice girl. I have to leave a lot for work and every time I’m gone I find out a girl has cheated on me. I’m starting to think that military guys have no luck. Will all girls cheat when I’m away?

Blake
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May
4

He Cheated. I’m Devastated.

He Cheated. I’m Devastated.

Hello Diana,

I am sending you this because I am worried about my ex boyfriend. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 1 year and about 5 months when he took a contract job to go to Afghanistan for 6 months. When we talked about the job at first he was not taking the job. A week later he called and told me he took the job and he was leaving to go to Afghanistan in about 3 weeks.

I was devastated because we have been happy for so long I did not know why he would choose a job so far away. He told me it was because he did not want to be without a job and the money he was going to have when he got back would be for us. He said he was doing it for us and that we would finally get married and have kids like we always talked about.

My brother passed away while he was gone and made things harder for me. My boyfriend never really asked me if I was ok or seemed to care at all. The only thing he ever said was sorry. Everything else was normal. We continued to talk every day or every other day. The time came for him to come home. He was a completely different person. I thought if he did not see me for 6 months he would want to be around me. It was the opposite he just wanted be around his friends, going out drinking, going to strip clubs. He was treating me so bad I felt like he was pushing me to leave.

He didn’t get me anything for Christmas and acted like he told me he couldn’t because he didn’t have any money. I found out he was seeing another girl. We broke up. I feel sick.

Beth
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May
2

Online Scammers and You

Online Scammers and You

In the last three days, I have received five emails from different readers telling me of how they were scammed out of substantial amounts of money online. Their scammers posed as romantic interests on various dating websites. Time and time again, I respond individually to these letters, however tough love is now in order. Here is my advice to those who date/flirt/chat online. Continue Reading…